Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t answer when you called on the day after my birthday to congratulate me for getting through another year. But I was busy. See. It was my night to make the dinner, but I’d forgotten where the kitchen was. So I had to remember this whole series of mental exercises the therapist gave me so I wouldn’t get lost if I couldn’t remember where I was going. And I did get through them and found myself at the end standing outside of Publix Grocery Store. So first I was mad, but then… I thought why not just go in and buy a rotisserie chicken to take home for dinner. But they didn’t have any chicken at the sushi counter so I had to buy raw tuna and raw salmon and ask how I was supposed to cook them. But the nice young lady behind the counter said I didn’t have to cook them ’cause they were ready top go as is. So I said “OK” and then had to do the mental exercises backwards to get home. When I got home, I went straight into the dining room ’cause I still didn’t know where the kitchen was and put the raw fish on the table and called for the woman to come eat with me. When I told her what happened, she said she was really proud of me for figuring it all out, but I was in the wrong house. Dammit. Then I had to figure out how to get home after we ate the sushi. The woman said she’d call me a cab, and I got mad ’cause I don’t like to be called names. But then she explained and I apologized and she called a cab and when it came I got in and told the man my address and he took me right to it. But the place was where I lived when I was 4 years old and there wasn’t any house there anymore. Just a subway station so I went down and got on a train and spent the rest of the night riding back and forth ’cause I didn’t see anyplace where I was supposed to get off. So that’s why I didn’t call you back. Now if I could only remember your name and address, I’d mail this to you. Then you could call my wife and tell her I’m waiting downtown at the Court House so she could come pick me up. So I got to stop now ’cause now I have to do the exercises again so I can get downtown.
Your friend, I think
What’s his name